I Left My Heart in San Francisco de Quito

I told you this was coming, but I'm sorry it's this late. Not that I really expect anyone to still be checking this, but I'm a man of my word.

I'm back in the United States of America with a better perspective of the rest of the world, and how we fit into it. There are things that I can appreciate about the U.S. now that I couldn't have before, and there are also things that I can appreciate about other countries. I guess I don't really need or want to go deeper than that, so I'm just going to repeat the theme from last time and say "I learned stuff."

I still don't know what the future of this blog will be. I don't really have any plans to permanently enter the blogosphere, but a lot of you have mentioned to me that you found me to be a somewhat marginally okay writer (you know, for a Revere grad), and I've taken that into consideration. This blog may have run its course, but I might start using it to share my photography, or I may write the occasional entry. Whatever I feel like, I guess. I'd love for you to keep checking obsessively for new posts, but I don't want to have to earn that obsession by actually posting. For what will, for the time being, be a mothballed blog, I'll make you a deal: I promise to post at least once in double the time it takes my sister to post to her currently active blog, which would be roughly once per season*.

SHOUT-OUTS GO TO: Toda la familia Morillo--Mila, Mateo, Omar (what's cooking?), Cris, y Abuela Joven/Divertida/Paciente/Rebelde/Motociclista. Muchas gracias para todo, para cada parte de mi tiempo con Ustedes, para todas las experiencias que yo tenia... les extrano mucho a Uds. y ya quiero regresar. Posiblemente en el futuro, en algunos cinco o diez anos, si tengo bastante dinero y tiempo, me gustaria regresar al Ecuador y verles. No puedo agradecerles a Uds. bastante veces. Y yo se que todavia no puedo hablar perfectamente, pero.... por eso, necesito volver, no? Abrazos grandes. Hasta manana.

From Columbus, Ohio, USA,
Andy

*I don't actually promise anything.

Quito's Been Neato: Things We've Learned

For my final entry from Ecuador, I’d like to show you EXACTLY what I came here for: an education. This wasn’t quite the education you’d expect me to get on a trip where the key was an intensive study of the Spanish language, though. No, this trip became much, much more than that, and towards the end, it was way more about experiencing, learning, and trying to navigate the crazy Ecuadorian culture than it ever was about learning Spanish. Presenting: 90 Things We Learned in Ecuador, written mostly by Lisa Brown but with a few key points added by me.

1. Being an island must not be a requirement to be on island time. Ecuador is on island time, yet it is not an island. When someone says they’re just arriving…it means they’re just leaving their house.
2. “Corn Flakes” is a term used to refer to any brand of cereal.
3. Guinea pigs are not pets.
4. When people on the street don’t know the answer to one of your questions, they will make one up. They think they’re being helpful.
5. The bigger the bottle of water, the less expensive it gets. A regular sized water bottle is usually about $1.25. Upgrade to a 2 liter and it’s $0.60.
6. The best way to make people smile is to put a group of gringos on the chiva (the party trolley of quito), give them canelazo (a warm, cinnamon, fruity liquor), whistles, and a mariachi band (that never practices) and let them dance and wave obnoxiously. The locals eat it up.
7. There are not conejos en la playa. There are cangrejos.
8. You only need a few adjectives in Quito: Chévere, lindo, rico, and tranquilo.
9. If you see a guy in the middle of the street dressed in a yellow-green NASCAR pit crew outfit, they’re selling chips for your phone.
10. Senora Lutz is the best Spanish teacher any of us could ask for.
11. When biking down the largest active volcano in South America, and the first thing your guide tells you is not to race because the path is rocky, steep, and dangerous enough as it is…you probably should bow to his expertise.
12. Safety is far from being a priority here.
13. Don’t pay $40 for a soccer jersey you can get for $5 on the street.
14. When you think you’re going to the center of the world…you’re not. There is the tourist attraction that they thought was correct, until they used GPS to determine that this huge, widely celebrated monument is actually about 200 yards south of the actual equator.
15. On the equator, an egg will balance on its tip without falling over.
16. Here, we play soccer on dirt and volleyball on concrete. There will be blood.
17. Alfalfa juice is not good.
18. If someone asks you if you want to go to a pachanga, say yes. No one parties like the locals…with their boxed peach wine and 20 min songs to which you can only dance a 2 step.
19. If you have a box of wine at a pachanga, you are the most popular person there…and probably the most drunk. The indigenous will always always always respond with “you first” when you offer them a drink. And when you finish the box and no longer want to be a designated pourer, just put the box on the ground. If you try to ask someone where to put the empty box, they will return with a full one for you.
20. Car alarms here are possessed. They go off for no apparent reason at any hour of the day or night. Especially the night.
21. When you don’t want your professor to hear you say something…don’t say it in Spanish. Especially when you can speak a language that they can’t.
22. On that note, the professors here do not understand the word ‘game.’ A game has points, winners, losers, objectives, and it’s fun. Conjugating verbs is not a game. And it is not fun.
23. Rolling around on the floor, rocking back and forth whipping your competition’s butt with a rag until someone gives in, however, is a game according to the indigenous people of Otavalo.
24. If you don’t like a certain kind of food, politely tell someone. Otherwise they will be under the misconception that you like it and want it all the time. And then you won’t have the heart to tell them that you have been eating something you hate for weeks.
25. At the end of a taxi ride, if the driver tries to charge you too much, just say no…give him what you think it ought to cost…and walk away. Its chevere.
26. A red light means about as much as the lines on the road (if there are any)…nothing. A red light is more of a suggestion.
27. You can make anything out of alpaca.
28. Chupitos means shots. And they’re $1.50. Sometimes $.50. And when you’re friends with the bartenders, they’ll give you a free shot of whipped cream after you take your shot. Or if you’re a regular they’ll squirt it right into you’re mouth.
29. Date a bartender and he’ll give you a free drink and dessert.
30. Make friends with the owners of the bars and they’ll give you free drinks all night.
31. Don’t trade your phone and camera for a taxi ride. It’s not worth it.
32. Add –ito to everything if you’re in Quito.
33. If someone’s from the coast, they don’t use the letter ‘s’. BEWARE…they’ll talk so fast though that you can’t really distinguish the other letters either.
34. Drawing pictures is sometimes more effective than making up words.
35. Indigenous people don’t look at you when they dance.
36. No one actually says adios. Its chau.
37. Ecuadorian men have a 30 yard gringa radar. If you make eye contact, it’s an invitation. Don’t look at them.
38. Ssst sst ssst is an Ecuadorian mating call.
39. If you put in headphones to ignore them, they just increase the volume.
40. Blowing cigarette smoke in the eyes is a remedy for pepper spray.
41. Rice and soup go well with everything. Mayonnaise does not.
42. Δ=A
43. The police are corrupt.
44. Similarly, you can pay your way out of anything.
45. If you can juggle or breathe fire, you have permission to stand in the middle of the street. Free entertainment.
46. If you give .25 to the regular juggler, you better give .75 to the guy on the giant unicycle juggling knives. He’s way ballsier.
47. There is no word for “creeper.”
48. If you say diecitres or cincocincuentos, they will understand you but secretly laugh at you.
49. Being racist is okay. Especially if you’re a local fast food chain.
50. KFC is the McDonalds of other countries.
51. If you’re driving and hit a car, just keep going. No hay problema.
52. Pedestrians NEVER have the right of way.
53. Pillete- scamp, little rogue, or street arab. Racist?
54. Ito- affection, diminutive, politically correct. Or on the bus, it means you still have to pay 25 cents for the gum, but you don’t have to feel like you’re spending so much.
55. To celebrate a goal at a Liga game, it’s best to send your first born child to climb a barbed wire fence and rock it back and forth while you set off flares and your fellow aficionados run suicides up and down the stands.
56. Policies be damned. If you want to see your president make international news, have him bump ‘n’ grind with some scantily clad jovenes in the discoteca, per the example of former Ecuadorian president, Abdala Bucharem. (link to video)
57. Cayambe is the bizcocho capital of the world.
58. Spanish texting is a whole new language. Xfa= por favor. Q=que. And they usually don’t finish their words. The last few letters are often forgotten.
59. There are sooo many phrases in English that DO NOT TRANSLATE, for example, “On the other hand” and “Friends with benefits.”
60. There are also a lot of words that mean the same thing in English but require differing words in Spanish, like Ser, Estar, and Haber.
61. There are quite a few words that are commonly used in Spanish…but use them in English and you’ll get weird looks.
a. Además (furthermore)
b. Sin embargo (nevertheless)
c. Tal vez (perhaps)
d. Así (thus)
62. Verbs used often: pudiera, quisiera, decir, saber, (imp subj + cond), personal pronouns, mandatos (ven aquí, ayúdame, jódete, déjame).
63. Verbs used never: sugerir, anything vosotros, future tense (just use voy + inf)
64. Here they don’t know the difference between Idaho and Ohio. And no matter how many times you tell them that Ohio is not the land of the potatoes, they won’t remember.
65. Try not to say no to new experiences…unless you’re drunk. Then do everything you can to say no.
66. Latin Americans LOVE to dance. Always. Gringos provide a source of entertainment for them.
67. Nunca hay problema. Tranquila.
68. ¡SIGABITCHES!
69. If there’s a party in Isabela, the town will shut down and all 2000 people will be in attendance. Shirtless and barefoot is always acceptable.
70. Taxis have more of a right-of-way here than anyone. Taxis can get anywhere, but no one will budge for a police vehicle with flashing lights.
71. After 5 p.m. if it’s still fairly light outside just walk wherever you want to go. Traffic is so bad that it’s faster to walk. Plus you won’t be able to find a taxi.
72. Beber- bebidas como jugo, agua, café, etc
Tomar- bebidas alcohólicas
73. When you try to pack at 5:30 am, while still drunk, to be at the airport at 6, you may end up packing things like winter coats. You do not need a winter coat in the Galapagos.
74. Milk and juice come warm. And often in bags.
75. You will see the same people all over the country when you least expect it. It’s a small world.
76. The first 10 seconds of a cold shower is always a shock, but you get used to it.
77. @ on a Spanish keyboard can only be achieved using a combination of keystrokes that don’t involve SHIFT.
78. Having a $5 means you’re rich. If you have a $20 bill, you might as well be broke.
79. Ahora doesn’t mean now. It’s more like “in a bit.” Ahorita means now.
80. Lisa means smooth.
81. Juan Leon Mera wrote the National Anthem. But it has 6 versus so people only ever sing the chorus.
82. I’ve concluded that I’d rather just have no internet at all than have internet that hardly works.
83. If you don’t have enough people to play futbol in the park, go anyway. Ecuas are always looking for a game. It’s more fun to play with them anyway.
84. Pirated DVD’s don’t always work. But for $1.50 you might as well risk it. You can’t even rent it that cheap in the US. Maybe you shouldn’t chance it by buying 89 though.
85. Latino guys have got it figured out. They can kiss girls all the time and use the culture as an excuse. It’s like a million Ecuadorian Bob Barkers running around.
86. They use the subjuntivo all the time here. But if you ask them about it, they have no idea what you’re talking about.
87. Many Ecuas speak more English than they let on. And even when they don’t speak English, they’ll know you’re talking about them. And they all understand ‘f***’.
88. If pitchers at a bar are too expensive, just tell the owner he can make more money by lowering the prices of beer and upping the price of mixed drinks. A guy is going to buy a girl a drink no matter what it costs, but if the beer is too expensive, chau.
89. If you want to make a quick buck, you can work in an Ecuador strip club. You don’t even have to be pretty.
90. This place is awesome.

Signing off from Ecuador,
Andy

P.S. Make sure you check out yesterday’s post, which is the last full post from Ecuador. Just saying.

Todo Es Posible....

Once again, I’ve finally added pictures to my Galapagos post. Check them out.

Not a lot has happened since we returned from the Galapagos, except I’ve correctly called some impressive upsets in my March Madness bracket (yes, I actually had Cleveland State, Dayton, and… That School Up North). That, and on Friday my class went to an orphanage in Quito to see the effects of poverty and machismo on Latin American families. We got to talk with the director about the backgrounds of the girls and how they ended up there, but it’s nothing you wouldn’t expect. What was cool was getting to play with the kids. We arrived just in time for their half hour recess, so we got to join a small game of soccer, some freeze tag, and the Spanish version of “Down by the banks of the hanky-panky,” but instead of bullfrogs jumping “from bank to banky,” it had something to do with a plane throwing papers out the side and guessing which color the papers were, and then there was some other game that had to do with who burnt and stole twenty-five loaves of bread, and I completely did not understand the point of that one. Whatever, it was a lot of fun, and an incredible excuse to get out of the classroom.

Friday night, we did go out to a bar to TRY to watch the OSU-Siena game, but the only CBS feed available in Ecuador is out of Miami, so we mainly had to resort to scoreboard watching while we saw Florida State embarrass themselves to Wisconsin. We did, unfortunately, get to see the end of regulation, the end of the first OT, and worst of all, the end of the second OT. I have no one left to root for. But hey, how ‘bout them Blue Jackets?

Saturday afternoon, a small group of us went to Colonial Quito so see the Basilica, a beautiful European gothic-style cathedral that started construction in 1883 (it’s still not done). The Basilica has three large towers that you can climb for beautiful views of the city: a bell tower at the north end and two identical clock towers at the southwest and southeast corners. We climbed the bell tower first (the ladders are on the outside of the building), and though we never felt like we were in danger, it was a little freaky because we were climbing in a rainstorm, so the ladder was wet and it was pretty windy…. But that just makes climbing a huge tower more of an adventure, right? After getting some sweet pics, we climbed back down and realized that it was not just rain, but actually a thunderstorm we were climbing these huge towers in, so naturally, we continued towards the clock towers. The clock towers are higher than the bell tower, but also generally safer and more enclosed... until you reach the top. The top floor, still on the inside of the tower, is no more than metal wires making a grid of 3”x3” squares, with some of the wires broken. At the corners of the top floor are openings in the walls, where you can actually step outside the tower onto small platforms roughly two square feet in area and roughly a mile above the ground, with nothing holding you back, and remember that we also had the bonus of a thunderstorm. We all did it (not all at the same time), and it was pretty cool, but I was terrified and more than a little glad to get back inside the tower.

Sweet picture of la Virgen.

I was standing RIGHT THERE.









This is for Coop, to show that Americans are not the only ones who have trouble with patriotism and religion.



This is the view from OUTSIDE the tower...



Yesterday afternoon, I had a large sort of goodbye lunch with my entire Ecuafamilia after church. The food was good, but so was the company. I’ve said it before, but I really do love spending time with this family, and I’m not going to have much more time with them—I have a lot of work to do tonight for the end of class, and the entire program is going out to dinner tonight at some 15th-floor restaurant near school for a farewell dinner, and Tuesday afternoon/evening will be spent frantically packing for my return to the United States. I wish there were more free time after the end of classes here for me to spend with my familia, but that’s the way it is.

Regarding the end of classes, my last day of class is today, and now all that’s left is to give our final presentations tomorrow morning and hand in our papers. I’ll start working on both of those after school today, as well as a skit that my class has to put on as part of the farewell celebration with all of our teachers in the school. Each class will put on some sort of 5-minute skit, with the topics ranging from the trips to the teachers to the classes, among others. This is definitely the least important thing I have to work on tonight, but I will probably devote the most time to it. Sounds like a good plan, right?

As for my return to the United States, the plan is for me to not go to sleep tomorrow night, because I’ll need to be at Quito International Airport at 4:00 AM Wednesday (and I’ll probably need to use all of that time for packing, too). My flight is scheduled to depart Quito at 6:30 in the morning, and arrive in Houston at 11:55 AM (5 hours, 25 minutes). There are six or seven people from my group on that flight, so it should be chévere. I then have a 2.5-hour layover until 2:25 PM Central Time, when I will board Continental Airlines Flight 1844 bound for CLEVELAND, OHIO, scheduled to last 2 hours, 46 minutes, getting me into NE Ohio at 6:11 PM Eastern Time. I can’t wait.

Cultural Note of the Day: Instead of focusing on one specific part of Latin American culture for the final Cultural Note of the Day, I’m going to focus on the culture as a whole. The phrase, “Todo es posible, nada es seguro,” is more or less the motto of life in Latin America, and living here for a mere eleven weeks is more than enough to let you understand the truth of the statement. It translates to “Everything is possible, nothing is certain,” and it pretty much applies to every aspect of this culture. Everything is possible—you can travel within these individual countries, travel to other countries, vote for change, start a business, buy off the police; but nothing is certain—has the road washed out, did the government just randomly decide to sever ties with the other nation, is there still a government, will your business’s security system work, has the other guy already bought off the police. The political instability and lack of discipline in law enforcement, combined with the limited economic resources, really serve to nurture the sense that everything is possible but absolutely nothing is certain. It’s an interesting dynamic that we as Americans are not used to dealing with: our governments are stable, our infrastructure cared for, our police dedicated, our economy strong (yes, even in recession). Here, not only can they not count on any of that, but any one of those things can change overnight. Todo es posible, nada es seguro.

SHOUT-OUTS GO TO: Everyone who’s left me comments, or sent me emails, or has somehow communicated to me that this blog was being read (if you’re currently not included in this Shout-Out but want to be, leave me a comment and I’ll count it). I’ve loved getting feedback from you, and knowing that this was for more than just my own personal entertainment. Even if I didn’t respond to something you wrote personally, trust me, I read it. If you’ve been keeping up with my writing, I probably miss you, and I probably can’t wait to get back to the States and see you again. And…. Horse. Thanks to all of you, and I’ll see you all soon.

From Ecuador,
Andy

P.S. While this is my last real post from Ecuador, I expect to have the Things We Learned In Ecuador list tomorrow evening. There will be at least one more post after this, coming from American soil, hopefully no later than this weekend.... just in case you want more Gringo Lingo.

I Saw The Boobies

Wow.

If you were to try to summarize the Galapagos Islands in one word, it would have to be that one. Wow.

Remember when I said I would consider my trip a failure if I didn’t come back with more than 200 pictures from the Galapagos? It certainly would have been. The failure line was 200, probably even 250. I was expecting 300-350. I took well over 500. Now, I understand that you probably are counting on the pictures I post here to show you the Galapagos, but unfortunately, I can’t accurately show you the islands unless I post at least 100 of those pictures. Since that’s not entirely realistic, all I can say is you should ask me about it sometime. In the meantime, I’ll try to post a few of the pictures that best show the islands here, although to be honest, I don’t even know where to start out of 500+ pictures....

We arrived on the island of Baltra late last Thursday morning. This wasn’t because it’s a pretty island or an island with cool attractions, because it’s actually small, desolate and barren, but rather because the only airport in the Islands is located on Baltra, left over from when the Ecuadorian government gave the U.S. military complete control of the island to use as a military base during World War II. From Baltra, we sailed across a small inlet to the larger island of Santa Cruz, and after crossing Santa Cruz by bus, we had a two-hour boat ride to the island of Isabela. The ride was pretty unremarkable (in fact, most of us fell asleep), except for the sighting of dolphins jumping six feet in the air and doing flips. On Isabela, we got to snorkel and go on a few hikes, one through a nature preserve by the shore, and the other to the rim of a volcano, Sierra Negra (longest rim in the world), and we also got to go to a breeding center/rehab facility for giant turtles and do other cool kid things. We stayed at Isabela until Sunday, when we returned to Santa Cruz, where we got to snorkel again, go through more sweet nature preserves, cliff dive (not me), and see Lonely George, the 120-year old turtle who is the last of his species and stubbornly refuses to mate with any of the three VERY attractive young female giant turtles also in his exhibit. We had some animated discussions about the reasons for this and/or solutions for the situation, but that would probably be better left out of my blog. Ask me later.

That’s pretty much a nutshell of the whole trip, except I failed to mention HOW MANY ANIMALS we saw. Sure, there were dolphins jumping at sea, and we saw an incredible amount of giant land turtles. We also saw white-tipped sharks, sea turtles, manta rays, amazingly colorful fish, red-yellow-blue crabs (that’s the technical name), a whole harbor filled with sea lions, massive pelicans, blue-footed boobies (the local shops love to play off that name… I guess we did, too), some Galapagos penguins, and lots and lots of marine iguanas. Courtney and I actually looked up from where we were snorkeling to see a group of marine iguanas swimming on the surface right around us, which was awesome. I should probably mention that my second time snorkeling, I found and got to swim with (indirectly) three massive sea turtles, and I also had a young sea lion swim over to me and start swimming circles around me, trying to get me to play. I could have reached out and touched him. It was, pretty much, awesome. I felt like I was in the movie Finding Nemo while we were snorkeling, getting to see the incredible diversity of life under the surface, and in clear water... oh and I swear I saw Crush the turtle. I’d also like to say that I learned a really valuable lesson while snorkeling, too: DO NOT burp into your air tube. It’s sort of unpleasant for a while.

BOOBIES.

I'm pretty sure this is one of the herons that nests in the Valley over the summer. Good winter vacation spot, dude.

Pool of white-tipped sharks.



Iguana fight. Naturally, it's two females.





I think I'm getting the stinkeye from a sea lion.



GIANT TURTLE.

Sunset on the island of Isabela

Rim of the caldera of the volcano Sierra Negra, the second longest rim in the world.

View of the island and bay from the volcano rim





Sunrise over the harbor on Santa Cruz

Lonely George, off in the corner by himself.







And I’m still getting credit for all of this...

I saw Prince Charles and Camila yesterday as we were waiting in the airport in Baltra (tip for the celeb mags: he was wearing a HIDEOUS tie). They had come to visit the Galapagos this weekend for some environmental awareness thing, and they happened to be boarding their plane as we were waiting to board ours. I would have taken a picture, except I don’t care about the British royal family, but it was cool that it happened. Right after we saw Charley, one of the girls started talking with a woman standing nearby from Vancouver, who eventually asked “Where are you guys from?” When the girl responded, “Ohio,” this lady gets a delighted look on her face and says, “Wow! The land of potatoes…” in a sort of dreamy, enchanted voice. She was quickly told that she was, in fact, thinking of Idaho, but the damage was done. I hereby offer Ms. Vancouver as proof that American grade school students are not the only ones who occasionally slip through the cracks.

I will be leaving Ecuador one week from today, and I’m getting more and more ready for it. Those of you who know me well will know what I’m talking about.... You know how when I get tired/stressed/cranky, and minor, insignificant things that people do or say, or small parts of their personality start to make me angry, and I end up in a foul mood over seemingly small things? It’s happening. Not a lot, but some of the kids in our group, some of their mannerisms, or things they say, or parts of their personalities, or when their opinion is different from mine…. It’s not fair, but it’s all starting to tick me off. Then yesterday, on the VERY short ride home from the airport, April, Sadie and I began arguing with the cabbie about how much money the ride was worth, and after a very heated discussion, we ended up walking the rest of the way home in the rain. There are just things that are starting to wear me down, and normally when I get like this, I need to go to bed.... Now, I just need to go home.

Be sure to watch sometime next week for the extensive list of Things We’ve Learned in Ecuador, mostly compiled by Lisa but with several assists from me. You’re going to want to read it, and I promise that “Spanish” will not be on there. Stay tuned.

I also need to mention that the Akron Zips men’s basketball team won their first-ever MAC Championship, and in the process, won an automatic bid into the NCAA Tournament. They will be playing Thursday in the first round against Gonzaga in what, although this has yet to be confirmed, I believe is the first ever matchup in the Big Dance between two teams with nicknames starting with the letter ‘Z’. Zips versus Zags, Thursday. Don’t miss it. And on that note, I’m calling Cleveland State as this year’s George Mason, losing only when they meet the Ohio State Buckeyes in the Sweet 16, which isn’t bad because the Bucks will be the tournament champions after they beat the Michigan Wolverines in the finals. Mark my words.

Cultural Note of the Day: One more thing here that I’ve noticed throughout this trip but only really started to irritate me yesterday is that random people will ask for (and expect) tips for doing almost nothing. Street performers expect tips. When you’re parallel parking on the side of the street, someone will ALWAYS come out of nowhere and wave their hands at you, pretending to help you park, and when you’re finished they will approach you and expect a tip for their services. Yesterday, as April, Sadie and I were walking towards our taxi for the ill-fated ride home (rather, halfway home), an airport employee sprinted towards us and, when we had about four feet left to walk to the back of the car, he grabbed Sadie’s luggage and loaded it into the trunk. He took April’s from her as she was standing at the trunk and loaded it in, and I never let him touch mine. And he wanted a tip. Dude, get a job.

SHOUT-OUTS GO TO: OSU Housing, for refusing to give up on their goal of screwing up every housing situation we come up with, and Horse.

From Ecuador,
Andy

Me llamo Lizardo Garcia.

Please note that I added a few more pictures to the last post, which I couldn’t put up due to third-world internet connections for much of the last few days. Yes, I understand the oxymoron there.

This is coming a little sooner than normal due to the fact I will be gone for the next 6 days to the GALAPAGOS ISLANDS. This is kind of a bittersweet trip for me, because I’ve known since long before I arrived here in Ecuador that the beginning of the trip to the Galapagos would, for all practical purposes, mark the end of my time abroad (the trip will go fast, and the one remaining week after that will go faster). We will spend six days among what is often referred to as one of the Seven Wonders of the Natural World, along with the Grand Canyon, Mount Everest, and this. We arrive at the airport tomorrow at 6:00 AM for our 7:30 flight. Our plans include barbecues and 4-hour hikes, snorkeling and lying on the beach.... and I will consider it all a failure if I don't return to Quito with at least 200 pictures. We're scheduled to get back 4:30 PM Tuesday, but our plans never seem to work, so we'll see what happens.

Some of you may understand the significance of the Galapagos Islands and hence why I'm so excited about going. They played a very, very important role in the history of science, leading one up-and-coming scientist of the 1830s to make one of the most startling and controversial discoveries of all time. Do you know what I'm talking about? Charles Darwin, sailing on the HMS Beagle, noticed some peculiar things about the animal species present in the Galapagos. He began to observe that some of the turtle species living on the islands had slightly different characteristics from other turtles of the same species living elsewhere in the world, and some of them even appeared to have vague knowledge of the martial arts. To this day, scientists will get into fistfights about this one simple question: Is this evolution or intelligent design?

We had our second salsa lesson yesterday. It was still fun, and I'm still not that good.

If you want to find leaders with some really cool names, come to Ecuador. One of their former presidents was named Lizardo Garcia. One of the main leaders of the huge rebel group in the jungle along the Ecuador-Colombia border is named Mono Jojoy. And although it's not necessarily a sweet name, check out Abdala Bucarem, who was the President of Ecuador when this video was taken. Not surprisingly, he only lasted six months.

On a sadder note, with only two weeks remaining on the trip, and only one left in the city of Quito (which means only one more week of possible blogging), it's time to start considering the future of this blog. Created with the sole purpose of keeping YOU up-to-date with my time here in la Republica del Ecuador, it will soon no longer serve its original purpose, which begs the question... what then? I'm open to suggestions, but with a name like Gringo Lingo, it seems inappropriate to be using it consistently on American soil.

CULTURAL NOTE OF THE DAY: The complete and utter love of mayonnaise in this country is sickening. It goes on anything and everything, and in no small amounts. Chicken breast? Have some mayo. Broccoli? Pass the mayo. Steak, rice, omelets? All need mayonnaise. Last night, Mateo went to the fridge saying how he needed some soda to drink and came out with the mayonnaise, and he was content. This is one of those things that I will never understand.

SHOUT-OUTS GO TO: Anyone who'll be willing to bake me something or buy me some good food when I get back to Akron/Columbus. I cannot wait for the food.... and, Horse.

From Ecuador,
Andy

'Cuz We're In The Cloud Forest

Picture this.

You’re at the Equator (the real one) in Ecuador, a small Spanish country in South America, going through the museum with a group of your fellow students from The Ohio State University while you’re on your way to a cloud forest for the weekend. A 55 to 60 year old man in a Panama hat stops you and says, “Wait. You guys are from Ohio State?”

How are you imagining this man? Is he some random gringo who can make the connection that a group with nearly everyone wearing OSU gear could be from Ohio State? Is he, God forbid, maize and blue scum from The School Up North? Or is he Tim Corral, the guy who donated so much money to the university that the Cardio Canyon in the RPAC bears his name, and he sat next to Dr. E. Gordon Gee in the President’s Suite at the Fiesta Bowl?

Now picture this.

It’s nighttime, in the middle of a huge, unfamiliar forest. There are eighteen kids sitting at the very top of a treehouse, sitting in a big circle, on beds, under covers, all listening with eager anticipation for the next words to be spoken. The only light is from a small flashlight shining on the speaker’s face. The speaker is telling ghost stories.

How old are these kids in your mind? Are they a bunch of fourth graders in a cheap treehouse in the woods who won’t sleep at all because they’re scared stiff after two hours of ghost tales? Or are they a bunch of college kids at various points in their twenties, sitting in the top floor of their tree-hotel in the cloud forest, hanging onto every word because they’re ready to burst out laughing at the next ridiculous translation, comment, or demon voice?

Now picture this.

You’ve gone out with your friends in the city of Quito on a nice Saturday night, and you all decide to go to a karaoke bar, although some go reluctantly. Your friend Andy Smith is with you. While he is squinting his eyes, trying to see the small TV on the other end of the bar that miraculously has the USA-Canada baseball game, someone in the group (let’s call her Lisa) says, “ANDY! I’ve got the perfect song for you!”

What do you think Andy does? Does he laugh at the thought of singing “Barbie World” by Aqua but follow it with a quick, “Uhhhh, NO”? Does he simply give a curt “No thanks,” because he hates “Stop In The Name Of Love” by the Supremes and maybe he didn’t even want to be in the karaoke bar in the first place? Or does he laugh and agree, and proceed to belt out “I’m Too Sexy” by Right Said Fred, complete with a cap tossing at the lyrics “too sexy for my hat”?

I’ll let you draw your own conclusions about these questions, but if you select the right answers (hint: the last ones), then you’ll get a good idea about my weekend. Our whole group was too big to go to Bella Vista (our lodge) at the same time, so there was a Friday/Saturday group and a Saturday/Sunday group, and I’m sure that there’s no possible way the second group could have as much fun as we did. Between the ghost stories, the guitar after midnight, and the general tomfoolery involved with the group, we had a great time.

Bella Vista itself is in what is called the cloud forest. It seems a lot like what a rainforest may seem like, but it’s in the mountainous region of the country, so it’s got to have a different name. However, it is still a beautiful jungle-like setting, with thicker trees and greener greens, but the difference is that there are, I don’t know, CLOUDS that roll into the mountains so thick that your visibility is limited in all directions. Along with a large cloud population, there are also roughly two million hummingbirds in the area, and I think I saw them all. The lodge has ten to fifteen hummingbird feeders set up around the property, and there is a constant stream of hummingbirds coming, going, and divebombing red things (leading us to the conclusion that hummingbirds are descended from bulls).


Psycho hummingbird. They look innocent, but they're not.


Clouds.... in the forest.














The penthouse of the treehouse.



In other news, I’ve decided that I will forego my incredible soccer talent and become really really bad at it, as a kind of protest that I am being forced to play and watch soccer in beautiful baseball weather while baseball season is about to start, and also to help me concentrate more on getting ready for some baseball games. The mental aspect of spring training is hugely important and vastly underrated, and if I continue to focus on things like soccer games, I will not be mentally prepared for the first pickup baseball game of the season. For all these reasons, I have decided that it is in my best interest to give up my title as “best soccer player on the planet.” My first game in this newly altered mental state came Thursday after school, when we all went to the park for a game. I have to say, I succeeded with flying colors; as goalie, someone actually threw the ball inbounds past me into the net. Of course, that was part of my plan; I knew all along that the ball had to touch someone for it to count as a goal. But the important thing was I didn’t react at all, giving me more time to think about how I would hit it if it were a baseball.

Also, I feel like it’s time for a concert update. I mentioned back in January that I would have the opportunity to see either the Iron Maiden Farewell Tour concert or a Carlos Santana concert while I am here in Quito. I have sad news for fans of both: Carlos Santana is performing this Saturday while we’re in the Galapagos Islands, and Iron Maiden tickets sold out a long, long time ago. Don’t even tell me I should skip the Galapagos for a Santana concert, and as for Iron Maiden, I’ve seen the throngs of Iron Maiden fans here in Quito and also the area around the concert venue, and they both scare the crap out of me. I’m sad to say I will not be attending any concert here in Quito (except the ones given by Dan “Trailblazer” Barwick and his magic fingers on our group trips).

Quick note: All you messed up Americans just switched to Daylight Savings Time. Quito did not. If you’re trying to call or chat with me at any point in the next two and a half weeks, know that I’m now an hour behind those of you in the Eastern US.

Cultural Note of the Day: You absolutely have to come to Ecuador at some point in your life, for one simple reason: ice cream. I’ve never had better flavors of ice cream in my life. Sure, there are creamier ice creams, or more chocolaty ice creams or ice creams that go better with caramel sauce. But the flavors here are probably the best in the world. They don’t really have flavors with artificial sugar like mint chocolate chip or butter pecan or cookie dough like we do, because they don’t really need to due to the wide array of delicious fruits that grow in this country. These fruits are turned directly into the best flavors ever. The best ice cream combination in the world, without a doubt, has to be raspberry-guanábana, followed directly by passion fruit-coconut. I don’t even LIKE coconut ice creams, but this stuff is incredible. Any other combination you would want would be third.

SHOUT-OUTS GO TO: Grandma and Grandpa Marlowe, Grandma and Granddad, and Grandpa and “Sarge” Lamont (Grandma, why did I have to travel to Ecuador to find out the kids at Revere called you that?)… and, of course, Horse.

From Ecuador,
Andy

Smile, Ecuador! ...And Give Me Your Money

First, please note that I FINALLY posted all the pictures from the last post. I feel like it’s somewhat impressive that I got it done in the time I did, because the computer at home still doesn’t work and the internet at school has been terrible. So yeah. If you haven’t seen those yet, check them out….. now. There are monkey pictures.

So the plans for this past weekend changed a bit from what I had been expecting, but it was still a good weekend. Going into this past weekend, there were two free weekends remaining on the schedule, and Abuela had said that with one of them, we’ll go trout fishing, and with the other, we’ll all go to a local private pool and swim. Trout fishing had been on the schedule, but she woke me up on Saturday and said that the day was perfect for swimming, and we would do that instead. Swimming with Omar, Mateo, Mila and Abuela was a blast, but maybe even better was the conversations we had driving around Quito. We touched on everything from the difference between “asteroids” and “steroids” and whether Abuela is on the juice to whether “Deliciously Trustworthy” is really a good slogan for a roast pig restaurant. The funniest part came after I saw a truck painted with a big cheesy smiley face and the Spanish words “Smile, Ecuador! We’re Friendly People,” and asked about it. Apparently it’s a campaign by the Vice President to try to get Ecuadorians to change their attitudes and in turn make life in the country better. Omar had some choice words to describe how he felt about that (in English, of course, so Abuela wouldn’t get upset), and then he said in Spanish, “Yeah, smile, Ecuador. And give me your money while you do it,” as he flashed a huge fake grin. We were laughing about this for a while, with Abuela scolding us the whole time, until out of nowhere she said “I’M GOING TO KILL YOU, HEEHEE!” as she flashed a huge psychotic grin. We died laughing. I only wish I knew for sure whether she was just playing along or if that was really her thought regarding some passengers in the car at the moment…

Saturday afternoon, I went to the futbol match between Sociedad Deportivo Quito and Liga Deportivo Universitaria, or SD Quito and Liga. As I said before, Liga is based in Quito and is the favorite team of the city, and they were second in the world last year. SD Quito, well, wasn’t. Liga dominated the game, and SD Quito was completely outclassed, giving up 3 goals and an own-goal for a final score of 4-0 Liga. So it was a fun game, but the best part was seeing the fans. The entire stadium is standing, screaming, and singing the whole game, and when Liga scores a goal, look out. Beer and baby powder go flying, flares are lit, children charge and climb the 20-foot high chain link fence keeping fans off the field (then proceed to rock it back and forth), and the diehard hooligan section repeatedly runs up and down the stairs. I managed to learn one of the songs, and this one is the one that is sang after every goal and at the end of the game, so it’s the good one to know. *A-hem*:

Yo te daré (I will give you) / Te daré Liga hermosa (I’ll give you beautiful Liga) / Te daré una cosa (I’ll give you something) / Una cosa que empieza con L! con I! con G! con A! (Something that starts with L! with I! with G! with A!) / LIGA CAMPEÓN! (LIGA CHAMPEONS!) (repeat)

On a related note, I have learned that the Ecuadorian national soccer team will not play their first match in Ecuador until three days after I return to the United States. As if this weren’t bad enough, one of the team’s lesser-used nicknames is La Banana Mecánica, which is just downright awesome. I think that’s supposed to translate to “The Mechanical Banana,” with banana being a reference to the bright yellow jerseys the team wears (as in, the team is a machine). Even if it translates to something else, or you personally want to believe it means Banana Mechanic, there’s no way to take it to mean anything but something really cool. For this, I am even sadder that I will not get to see the team play during my time in Ecuador.

I also got a small baseball fix this weekend. It was great—I’ve been daydreaming about playing ball at Keyser, and then this Sunday afternoon, Abuela took Mateo and me to a small park so that Mateo and I could play “baseball” with his two-foot long wooden bat and his tennis ball. We picked what we thought was a good part of the park where we couldn’t lose the tennis ball, but the second pitch I got from him… man, two months of dreaming about baseball got let loose on that tennis ball. I crushed that thing. Even from the middle of the park, I hit what was literally an “out of the park” home run, and it felt great to take that swing, but unfortunately, it landed in the walled-in yard of a neighboring house. We lost the tennis ball, but it was worth it.

Stuff going on this week: The US Embassy came to school today to tell us everything we already know about being safe in Ecuador, and I’m going to go ahead and blame Lisa for making this necessary. Our first group salsa lesson is today at 4. The Revere boys basketball team plays their first playoff game in a long, long time tonight at Stow High School against Cleveland JFK (GO MINUTEMEN!), and the World Baseball Classic starts Thursday. Friday we leave for a small, two-day excursion to Bella Vista, which is allegedly a “cloud forest,” whatever that means. I’ll be sure to let you know when I find out.

Cultural note of the day: There are some great signs here in the city of Quito. Political correctness doesn’t exist here, stuff doesn’t have to make sense, and sex is used to sell stuff that has never been connected to sex before. Check these out.


Kelly's Fine Hats: Apparently Kelly is an American woman who likes to pose shirtless with a pirate eye patch and a cool hat.


Menestros del Negro: Local restaurant with an old black caricature, complete with the bone fork in the hair, as the logo. Note that the phrase "Como preparado en casa" does not mean "Come prepared in case," but rather, "How it's prepared at home."


TinGo: Swimsuit models on a tropical beach, being used to sell.... Persian rugs?

SHOUT-OUTS GO TO: The yodeling monkey family of northeast Ohio, whom I happened to find here in Ecuador, and Horse.

From Ecuador,
Andy

CARNAVAL!

It’s been a week, and a lot of really important stuff has happened. At least, I think it has. I don’t know exactly what these things were, though, because I’ve been completely cut off from everything else in the world since Saturday morning. Since it’s really hard to comb the archives of MSNBC, the Plain Dealer or the Akron Beacon Journal (or ESPN, Sports Illustrated or MLB.com) for news that’s 4 or 5 days old, here’s the deal: you tell me what I missed since Friday evening, and I’ll tell you what I’ve been doing since last Wednesday. Deal?

For the record, I have less than a month left here in la Republica del Ecuador.

Salsa lessons last Thursday were a blast. Lisa and I were partners, and I feel it’s safe to say we quickly mastered the salsa… or at least what we were taught, which wasn’t much. But we can do the same moves over and over like PROFESSIONALS, baby. After the lesson was over, the instructor said that if anyone was interested in taking some more salsa lessons, she would love to try to work us into her schedule. About twelve of us (including Lisa and me—you can’t break up such good dance partners) took her up on her offer and signed up for a Tuesday slot. Not gonna lie, I’m pretty excited.

Last Friday, I received my grade for my final presentation in Spanish 302 and my final grade in the class. Despite my worrying about whether I even had close to 15 minutes of material (that was the minimum), I was able to talk for 20... and to my surprise, I got a perfect score! Of course, this feat was matched by—who else?—Lisa Brown, but that’s only fitting. We’ve been in tight competition for Spanish grades since our junior year of high school, so why would we stop now? Spanish 395 started Thursday, but due to the trip to the Amazon, I’ve only had three days of classes so far, so I’m still trying to get a feel for the class. It will be interesting; we will get to take some trips as a class to talk to people about current Ecuadorian issues (we took a trip to a rose plantation today), and we’ll get to watch some movies that also deal with issues affecting Latin America today (we already watched Maria Full of Grace, about drug trafficking and migration). It may get hard with writing assignments, but it shouldn’t be too bad.

Now for the Amazon. To be honest, it was not quite what I was expecting--there were no incredibly huge trees, no canopy, no diverse ecosystem of all sorts of exotic animals (at least, not that we could see). We were in the Amazon, but towards the edge; the “rainforest” as we think of it (or at least as I think of it) does not extend as far west into Ecuador as where we were staying. Regardless, the Amazon Rainforest is the Amazon Rainforest, and I’ll always be able to say I was there, even if I wasn’t as far in as I would have liked.

From Saturday afternoon until Tuesday afternoon, we were staying in a resort called La Casa del Suizo, built on the banks of the Napo River, surrounded by our part of the Amazon. It was a nice resort, but the activities they led for us were better. Sunday afternoon we took large motorized canoes about 25 minutes downriver (and up another one) to get to the nature preserve/animal sanctuary, where we saw all sorts of beautiful birds, small jungle cats, reptiles.... and, most importantly, monkeys. Cooler than the monkeys in the cages, though, was the one truly wild monkey we saw from the boat going to the preserve, and the two loose formerly domestic monkeys that live at the preserve. Once we finished our tour of the animal sanctuary, these two monkeys slowly came down from the trees towards our group, until they were both clowning around on the ground amongst us, and one started climbing on one of the guys in our group and hanging from his arm. Since they’re not allowed to touch humans, he got pulled off and scolded by one of the staff members, and then promptly proceeded to curl up on a bench and pout. There’s no doubt in my mind that this monkey was actually pouting. His friend, meanwhile, was acting up for the camera. Hundreds of close range monkey pictures later (twenty-five of which are mine)...

We left for the boats, which took us even further upriver, to a small beach where we got out and unloaded innertubes. We got to tube down this river, which was about half calm, half “rapids” (meaning slightly faster and choppy), and it was SWEET. Monday we boated up the river to an isolated little shore, which was the access point to a long trail through the woods.... No, rainforest sounds cooler. It was the access point to a trail through the rainforest. This trail was everything you could ask for in a rainforest trail except for the exotic animals; it had weird plants, ants that tasted like like sugar, a zip line across a 50-foot deep gorge, a vine swing with a 50-foot drop, shaky rope bridges, good views, and mosquitoes. When we were done with the trail, our guides had built three rafts out of balsa tree trunks, and our group split up and (without too much effort) raced back to the resort. My raft dominated, but that may have had something to do with the fact that no one else had two oars. Hey, whatever. Also, I figure that since the Napo is one of the largest tributaries to the Amazon River, for all practical purposes, we actually tubed and raft-raced on the Amazon. How many people can say that? We also got to sample an indigenous alcohol called chicha, made out of some sort of root (I didnt like it, it had an aftertaste of smoked sausage), and we got to try shooting poison darts out of a blowgun, after getting our faces painted with berries like hunters. But possibly the coolest, most important thing that happened at la Casa del Suizo is that I learned two awesome card games, Spades and Six-Card Euchre. Give a man a rainforest and he'll take pictures for a day, but teach a man some card games and he'll be entertained for a lifetime.


La Casa del Suizo


View from our porch


WILD MONKEY!




Hanging on Josh.


Pouting after getting scolded.


Loving the camera


Zip lining across the 50 foot gorge. Notice the white knuckles.


Classic shot of Mario (my teacher) and Sarah (one of our directors).

We stayed at la Casa del Suizo until early Tuesday afternoon, when we left for a small town called Papallacta with oodles of hot springs. We were there for well under 24 hours, but the hot springs were incredible, and so were some of the bikinis... or rather, one bikini. No, I wasn't checking out the chicas--but there may or may not have been an OSU student cross-dressing at the pool, and the reactions from the other guests may or may not have been priceless. Also, for the first time since I've been in Ecuador, I got to see STARS, and I got to see them like I've never seen them before. There was virtually zero light pollution in Papallacta, so from 9:30 to 11:30 we were laying out in the hot springs in front of our cabins looking up at the Milky Way. There were at least 6 large shooting stars... awesome.








One of these things is not like the other....

This weekend also was Carnaval in the Catholic world, and in Latin America, that means launching water, water balloons, fruit and flour bombs at women and tourists, especially women and especially tourists. Traveling to Papallacta, we were warned to close all of our windows, because there was danger in the road ahead.... but some people were sleeping or didn't hear, and as a result, water and fruit hit several targets inside the rear of our bus. Also at la Casa del Suizo, some of our girls experienced Carnaval firsthand:



The best (or worst) thing is, all of this is not only excused, but encouraged, and all you need to say is "CARNAVAL!"

While this coming weekend is officially a free weekend, most of our group is traveling to different parts of the country, either Guayaquil (the largest city in Ecuador), Cuenca (ancient colonial city with some Incan ruins), or beaches in the south of the country. As for me, Abuela Joven is planning on taking me and my Ecua-siblings trout fishing sometime Saturday, and I plan on attending a soccer game between Liga and Deportiva Quito on Sunday afternoon. Liga is not only based in Quito and the most popular team in Ecuador, but they finished as the second best club team in the world last year, behind Manchester United. The fans are the epitome of passion. I'm pretty pumped.

Cultural Note of the Day: The flowers here are BEAUTIFUL. They have flowers here that I've never seen before, and they're all exotic and vibrant and really cool. Instead of talking more about it, I figure I'll just include pictures.





SHOUT-OUTS GO TO: Sara Beth (I hope you can settle for pictures of monkeys, I couldn’t get the real thing), and, of course, Horse.

From Ecuador,
Andy